literature

The Devil on your fingertips

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Literature Text

This is her life.

This is poetic afternoons staring at the clouds and mornings spent in tears.

It's knowing you're not in love and letting yourself fall apart anyways.

You have the devil on your fingertips and he's telling you to write, write, write.

There's a boy who has beautiful hair and words that don't tell you anything.

This is his life.

Hours spent pretending to care and girls who all have the same eyes.

A best friend who can't bring himself to look at you and lying in bed hoping the stars fall and hoping you'll wake up and not be alone anymore.

There's a girl who tells you everything you want to hear and a girl who's words could tear you apart.

You listen to music so loud it hurts, just so your heart has a rhythm to pick up.

Just so your heartbeat doesn't sound like her name.

You're writing letters that always begin with "I'm sorry," and end with the words "I wish you loved me."

Yesterday you almost got to the mailbox before breaking down.

Tomorrow, she's going to tell you she loves you more than anything. And you'll laugh because you can see the lie in her eyes and because you always laugh when you're in pain.

She'll  run away and you'll stay there and be alone.

You don't cry except in your head, because that's where tears look like stars in the sunlight and it's too beautiful to be sad.

You're staring in the mirror and you're thinking that your eyes used to be the color of moonlight and that your hair never looked so much like dirt.

This is her life.

There's a boy who you're tearing apart with your words but you keep typing because you're pretty sure the devil lives on your fingertips, and you can't stop.

You can't.

You can't.

You can't.

Tomorrow night you'll come home and he'll be sitting there with a smile on his face saying, "If you don't love me, hurt me. Please, please just hurt me."

And you will, because the devil lives on your fingertips and you were never in love anyways.
This was me trying to write romance.
And it ended up all...well...you can see.

Nonetheless I would really like to learn how to write a bit of romance so I'd like some help on that.

Also, some of the people I showed this to got a bit lost in the middle, does it make sense or should I make it clearer?

Which parts did you feel were the most effective and are there any parts that weaken the whole thing?
© 2010 - 2024 Rue-In-Flowers
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september28's avatar
In response to your questions, I did get a little confused in the middle on the first read, but when I went back over it more carefully it makes sense. I overlooked the "This is his life" and the "This is her life" notations. Once I figured that out... I actually felt pretty dumb for not having picked up on it in the first place.

My favorite line: "...because that's where tears look like stars in the sunlight and it's too beautiful to be sad." You have "that way" with words that I absolutely love.